I'll Always Choose You
by MoonGoddess09
Summary: Rock/Revy from Rock's POV. One-shot.


"The choice is entirely yours of course," he says. "But you have to pick one."

I look at Revy and Gina. Gina's eyes meet mine pleading, but Revy doesn't even look my way. I don't know who this man is-probably a pawn from one of the gangs-but he somehow kidnapped my partner and my girlfriend. And now I have to choose who lives and who dies?

"Her," I say, pointing to Gina. "She lives."

I make a concerted effort not to look at Revy as he raises his gun. The door behind me slams open and gunshots start flying, killing him before he can fire. Dutch unties Revy, handing her her guns, and I untie Gina while Eda covers us. We run towards the exit, the three of them shooting our way out.

Nobody speaks as we split up. I'm going to take Gina home and the others are probably going to The Yellow Flag. She doesn't talk, just holds my hand and kisses me for a long time before we part. My mind isn't on her, though; I need to talk to Revy. She's sitting on the stern of the boat smoking and staring out at the sea. I guess they didn't go to the bar.

I swallow hard and step up next to her. "I need to explain myself."

She doesn't reply, doesn't even act like she hears me.

"I chose Gina because I thought that he would kill her just to spite me. I wanted to save you the whole time."

She still doesn't respond.

"Revy."

She sighs heavily, flicking her cigarette butt. "It's over. I don't want to talk about it."

I sigh too, but leave her alone and head in to see Dutch and Benny. Dutch is on the phone when I walk into the room. "Okay," I hear him say. "Good to hear."

"What's going on?" I ask when he hangs up.

"Balalaika and Chang took care the gang that kidnapped Revy and Gina."

I know what that means. "That was fast," Benny says.

"You know how Balalaika feels about Revy." Dutch turns to me. "Don't you _ever_ pull a stunt like that again. All three of you could have been killed."

"He said he would kill one and let the other two of us go," I reply quietly.

"Come on, Rock. You aren't that stupid. You know all three of you were going to die."

I hang my head. He's right. Benny calls after me when I turn to leave. "So who did you choose to save?"

"Gina," I say over my shoulder. "I thought I could save Revy that way."

He doesn't respond, so I keep walking until I reach Gina's apartment. I just need to be away right now. But all I find is an envelope taped to the door with my name on it.

_ I'm leaving this godforsaken city by plane tonight. If you want to come with me, there's a ticket in the envelope. If I don't see you, I'll assume we're through. _

_-Gina_

I close my eyes, waiting for a dull throbbing in my chest, a closure in my throat, anything to indicate that the thought of losing her hurts. Nothing. All I feel is numb.

* * *

><p>I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see Revy getting killed. Stupid nightmares. I don't know if she's sleeping or not; she's acting like nothing happened. We've been on two jobs and she's killed a countless number of people and nothing's changed. But everything's changed. She has to know that.<p>

I need to walk. I light up and let my feet lead me, no direct path in mind. Somehow I end up knocking on the door of the Rip-Off Church at 3am, making Eda smirk when she sees me. "Rock! You finally gonna give in and fuck a nun?" She starts unbuttoning her habit suggestively.

I put a hand up to stop her. "I can't sleep. So I came here."

She beckons me inside and opens up a bottle. "Come on. Maybe getting you drunk will change your mind."

I tip my head back and drain my glass in one gulp. "I never got to thank you for saving my life the other day."

She pours another glass and winks. "I can't let you die before I get into your pants."

We continue drinking and she continues flirting, but my mind is wandering. I wish there was someone else sitting across from me. Finally, Eda plops herself into my lap and starts kissing me firmly on the lips. I'm off guard, she's heavy, and my chair tips backwards, knocking both of us on the ground. I pull myself out from under her, rubbing my head. "Sorry."

She grins and pulls her skirt up to her waist, revealing a very tiny pair of panties. "Can I entice you?"

I shake my head, standing up and holding my hand out to pull her up. "Sorry."

She sighs heavily, sounding very much like Revy. "Gina or Revy?"

"What?"

"Revy told me Gina left. Which of them are you wishing I am? The same one you wanted to save?"

I nod wordlessly. There's no use in arguing.

She smirks. "I still think you're going to fuck me eventually. Revy's adventurous; maybe she'll want a threesome."

I have to laugh. Eda never gives up.

* * *

><p>"Get up," Revy says, forcibly pulling me out of bed the following week. Now that I'm getting a little bit of sleep, I'm crashing hard.<p>

My head bounces off the bed as I hit the floor, but I'm otherwise unharmed. "Usually _I'm_ dragging _you_ out of bed."

"Payback," she responds, tossing me my pants before walking out the door.

Dutch is standing over Benny's computer and Revy is leaning against the wall smoking with _Eda _when I join them_._ "What are you doing here?" I ask.

"Nice to see you too," she replies, laughing. "I'm helping out today."

I look at Dutch, who nods. "We owe them a favor for Eda stepping in to help save you and Revy, so we're running a shipment. Eda wanted to personally oversee this one."

I catch Benny's eye and he shrugs. He doesn't question anything, just goes with it. Dutch looks at Revy before we leave. "Take it easy, Two-Hands. Don't get carried away again."

I know what he's talking about. Revy's had more of a disregard for life than usual since her kidnapping. She's killing everyone in sight and it's actually a bit scary. If I didn't know her better, I would think she was on drugs. She's so different.

So we head out. I stay with Dutch, who's driving, so I can keep an eye on things. Revy and Eda are on the deck. Revy's hair is blowing in the wind and she's laughing at something Eda is saying, both of them still smoking. They never stop smoking.

There's a nagging feeling in my chest, so I move constantly, checking all the directions on the way back. Dutch looks over at me. "You feel it too?"

I nod. "Something feels wrong."

He picks up speed a little and I see something behind us, a tiny dot on the horizon. Then two more dots join it. Shit. "We've got company."

I call down to Revy and Eda to prepare them and they both draw their guns immediately. The boats behind us come up fast and the firefight begins. I recognize them instantly: the South American cartel. This isn't going to end well.

Dutch does what he can, but there are too many of them. He finally gives me the wheel and joins the fray. I steer carefully; we're almost home. Then I hear Revy scream. "Eda!"

I look down quickly, watching Eda fall. Suddenly, the tide turns. Revy jumps into the air and goes boat to boat killing every person she can find. Dutch picks Eda up and brings her inside, then comes up to take the wheel. "Go sit with her. We need to get her to a hospital."

She's covered in blood, so I hold a cloth to her chest, trying to stop the bleeding. She's deathly pale, her eyes not quite focused. Revy bangs open the door and pushes me aside. "Where are you hit? Just your chest?"

Eda nods slowly; it's obviously too much effort for her. I can see her slipping out of consciousness, so I take her wrist and check her pulse. Weak, but there. Revy's face is pale too, but I don't think she's been shot. "You should have been paying attention!" she says roughly.

She doesn't hear her; she's completely unconscious. "Dammit, Eda!" Revy says, pushing hard on the chest wound. "This wasn't supposed to happen!"

I step out, leaving them alone. Revy's upset and I know to give her a wide rein when she's like that. Dutch puts Benny and me in charge of delivering the shipment while he and Revy take care of Eda. Sister Yolanda knows something's wrong as soon as she sees Benny. So I explain things quickly and she tells me to pass along her thanks along with the money.

Revy's face is white as a ghost when she and Dutch get back later and she immediately goes to reload her guns before walking back out the door. There's a hardness in her eyes, a curl of her lip that reminds me of a rabid dog. Eda isn't dead, but she's barely alive. And Revy is going to get revenge.

"I hope this isn't Roberta all over again," I say, almost to myself.

Dutch shakes his head grimly. "It might be."

* * *

><p>We stay up waiting for her to come back, but she doesn't. My phone rings around midnight. Chang. He tells me he told Revy where the South American cartel's hideouts are and passes the information to me as well.<p>

There's a sinking feeling in my stomach. "Why would you do that?"

"She broke through my guards and threatened me at gunpoint. What was I supposed to do?"

I know better. "You heard about Eda from the Rip-Off Church?"

"Yes." And he hangs up.

I relay what Chang told me to Dutch and Benny. Dutch sets his mouth in a grim line. "He's letting her walk right into death. Payback for killing his men, I'm sure."

So he sends Benny to the hospital to stay with Eda and contact him when the doctor says something specific, and he and I head to the first hideout. He had wanted me to stay behind, but I'm not just going to wait and worry. I want to be there too.

The smell of blood is overpowering. Every body we step over is dead and most of them have multiple gunshot wounds. Some of them are even decapitated. It's sick and it's not the Revy I know. She takes pleasure in killing, but never to this extent.

Dutch lowers his gun. "We better hurry."

Same thing in the next hideout. Revy must be covered in blood. This is insane. Then I see something black in one of the member's hands. A piece of Revy's shirt. I quickly scan the rest of the body, my eyes stopping on the crotch and the huge pool of blood beneath it. I shudder involuntarily. This isn't good.

So we go to the third and final hideout and I find myself praying Revy is still here. Gunshots echo throughout the warehouse and fear turns my stomach. She's usually lucky, but I think she's pushing too far. We run towards the sound, Dutch forcibly keeping me behind him.

"No!" I hear Revy yell, and my stomach churns, reacting to the tone of her voice.

I'm ahead of Dutch by the time we climb the stairs and throw the first door open I see. Revy's swaying on her feet, covered in blood, shooting one man over and over and over again. White feathers are everywhere, probably from the bed in the corner.

"Revy, stop!" I yell. "He's dead!"

But she doesn't, almost like she doesn't have control over her body. Dutch steps toward her. "Eda's alive. She's going to survive. Benny just sent me a text." He holds his phone up as proof.

I hear her gun click. No more bullets. Her whole body is shaking, almost like a seizure, so I rush to grab her before she hits the ground. Eyes unfocused, rapid heart rate, shallow breathing...I'm scared. She's deathly pale.

"Let's take her home," Dutch says quietly. He reaches for her, but I can lift her easily. She's not all that heavy.

We walk in silence to the car and I lie her in the back seat with her head in my lap. I've never seen her this still for this long, not even when she's sleeping. She has awful nightmares.

"Why do you think she kept shooting him?" I ask as I try to scrub the blood off her body. We already threw out her clothes.

"Did you see the feathers?" Dutch replies, lighting a cigarette:

I nod.

"She covered her father's face with a pillow when she shot him. Feathers were everywhere when they found him."

My head jerks up. "How do you know that?"

"I research the people I employ. Her file is in that drawer."

I look through it while Revy sleeps, leaning against her bed. Father had been a violent alcoholic and she had killed him after he hit her in the face with a bottle. That explains the scar on her cheek. Tons of run ins with the police, a brutal rape by a sadistic cop. God. No wonder she doesn't trust anyone.

The feathers must have triggered the memory and the overkill. That and the thought of losing Eda, since "friends" are really hard to come by in this city. I close the file thoughtfully. I wonder if Eda would have done the same for her.

Revy groans in her sleep, so I automatically stand up. I'm sure she's in pain; she had one bullet in her shoulder and one in her forearm. But she just rolls over. I pull the covers over her and sit back down. I'm not leaving.

Revy has a fever and is completely disoriented when she wakes up, so Balalaika pulls some strings to get a doctor to come to us. Dutch tells me she and Chang both feel they owe Revy something for single-handedly destroying a big piece of competition, which they will pay back in time. The doctor says there's no infection and compliments our handiwork, simply replacing the bloody dressings with new ones. He thinks her body succumbed to extreme stress and exhaustion, so he wants us to keep her quiet and give her weak broth and water when she wakes up. Sleep is really all she needs.

I sit by her side all day and night, helping her drink and eat and supporting her when she gets up to use the bathroom. She's in too much pain and too disoriented to fight me, which is actually really scary. Her amber eyes, usually full of fire, look lifeless. I doze off during the night, but am jolted awake by her groaning in pain. I'm by her side instantly, a glass of water and some painkillers in my hand. "Revy?"

The pain in her eyes cuts right through me. "Help me...sit up."

I support her back while she swallows the pills, then carefully help her lie back down. "You'll feel better in the morning."

She smiles weakly. "Hope so."

I put my hand to get forehead gently after I'm sure she's fallen back to sleep, brushing her bangs away. It doesn't feel like she has a fever anymore, which is good. My thoughts wander back to the warehouses. Going in there alone...she should have died. There's no way she should be lying in front of me right now, still breathing. She must have some higher power looking out for her.

"You don't have to be by her side every second, you know," Dutch says softly from behind me. "She's not going anywhere."

I turn to the doorway. "I don't want her to be alone."

His sunglasses conceal his eyes, but I can tell by the small smile on his lips that he approves.

I close my eyes, allowing myself a fitful sleep. Worry for Revy is at the forefront of my mind, so I wake several times thinking something is wrong. Each time she's sleeping peacefully. When I open my eyes for the last time, the sun is peaking through the cracked blinds and Revy is in her underwear rummaging through her drawer. Her hair is wet, like she's been in the shower.

"Look who's finally awake," she says, pulling a shirt over her head. "I'm starving."

I've seen Revy in her underwear a thousand times and I've never quite gotten used to it. She's still really nice to look at. She'd kill me if she knew I thought that, though.

"Let's go find something then," I reply, making an effort to look away.

Dutch and Benny are sitting at the table when we walk out. Dutch tells me to take my breakfast to go; I have a job. Sister Yolanda is paying us to have me escort Eda home from the hospital. She's being released this morning. I hear Dutch laying into Revy about her stupid stunt as I close the door behind me.

I've never been so happy to see Eda. She's the biggest pain in the ass, but she's alive. I even allow her to give me a sloppy kiss when she sees me. "I hear the South American cartel was destroyed in my honor."

I shudder, the image of mangled bodies returning to my mind instantly.

She notices. "Good old, Two-Hands. I guess I owe her a favor now. Did she pitch a fit that I only wanted you?"

"She's actually not allowed out today on Dutch's orders. Her body kinda shut down after the shootings. She had a fever all day yesterday."

She turns sharply. "But she's okay?"

"She is now."

"Good." Then she reads my mind. "I would have done the same for her, I think. Don't let that get around, though."

I return Eda's easy smile and tell her to take care of herself. She grins, winking. "I thought you were going to say behave myself. You _know_ I can't do that."

I laugh. "No. I wouldn't expect you to."

The drive home is short. I pull out a cigarette, then realize I don't have my lighter on me. Damn. Revy is sitting on the stern again, smoking, so I ask to borrow hers.

"I lost it," she says, but beckons me over. "Here."

I sit next to her and lean in, touching the tip of my cigarette to hers. Our eyes meet and an overwhelming need to touch her surges through me. I try to shake it off, but there's something about her eyes that hold me.

"Rock."

Her voice snaps me out of my reverie . My cigarette is lit. "Sorry."

We sit in a comfortable silence, but my head is spinning. I still remember the first time back when we got arrested. She had been so tired, even her eyes half-lidded, and that was the first time I had seen vulnerability. I grew to like being around her late at night or early in the morning; it gives me glimpses through that tough shell.

I can't shake that need. I think I just need sleep. My system was overwrought with worry and I need to let it rest and recuperate. Perfectly logical explanation.

* * *

><p>We all split up the next day: Revy goes to see Eda, Dutch goes to see someone he won't name, Benny decides to stay on his computer, and I go to Balalaika's. She has a job for me apparently. She's doing business with Japanese people again and needs me to translate a handful of documents. Anything to earn money.<p>

"No bodyguard needed this time," she says, handing me the first document.

I start my translation, smiling. "I think Revy was happy to hear that."

"How is she?"

"Better. We appreciated the doctor."

"Good. Her reaction is exactly why I chose her to be your bodyguard."

"She's loyal."

She takes my finished translation and hands me the next document. Once I've finished all my translations, I start translating her responses. As usual, she doesn't mince words. I'm glad I won't have to see their faces when they read it.

"She's one of those people who makes it very hard to love them," Balalaika says. "It makes her both a loose cannon and a great fighter. If she wasn't so unpredictable, I would be honored to have her in my ranks."

She must trust me. She never talks this freely about things. "She has steel armor. Nobody can crack it."

There's a half smile on her lips. "I don't know about that. You seem to be chipping away at it." Then she gathers the papers into a pile. "Thank you for your help. Tell Dutch I'll send him his payment later."

We stand up together and say good-bye. Me, chipping away at Revy's armor? No way. She's more guarded with me than anyone I've ever met.

I stop by the Rip-Off Church to pick her up on my way home; we both walked, but I don't want her walking by herself drunk. I'm sure that's what they've been doing. And I'm right. I can see Eda's smirk from the back of the church when she sees me. "Rock. Come join us. We were just talking about you."

"No, thank you," I reply, not trusting the look in her eyes. "I've just come to take Revy home."

Eda leans over the table to punch Revy's arm. "Hear that? He wants to 'take you home.' Lucky bitch."

Revy and I roll our eyes simultaneously, but I notice her cheeks color slightly. She's quiet on the walk, smoking and looking around. Dutch is going to be pissed if she's really hungover tomorrow, so she drinks a bottle of water and eats something before going to bed. It might help soak up the alcohol. He comes home drunk too, though. I wonder where he's been.

Both Revy and Dutch are recovered enough to run two deliveries the next day, both of which end up in shootouts and one of which she saves my life, as usual. I'm still too trusting. It's a fatal flaw.

"I would like to go through one job without getting shot at," Benny says as we open a bottle of the strongest liquor we have. We don't have a job tomorrow, so we're celebrating being alive.

"That's boring," Revy replies, passing glasses around.

Dutch shakes his head as he pours. "You and your death and destruction."

That reminds me of her rampage, then of my choice. I stay quiet as they exchange stories and jabs, my mind reliving the events leading to that choice. I had asked Revy to keep an eye on Gina because she was getting threatened by some low-level scum and she was another innocent person lost in Roanapur. I think she stayed because of me; she hated it here. Someone had grabbed Gina and before Revy had been able to grab her gun and shoot, she'd been kicked in the back of the knees and knocked to the ground. She'd twisted to shoot, but someone had grabbed both her arms, pinning them behind her back while another took her holster. I had been taken right off a bench afterward.

I look across at Revy, her amber eyes lit up with laughter and drunkenness, her hair coming loose from her ponytail and framing her face messily. It's sexy, _really_ sexy. I'll always choose her to save. I wonder if she would do the same for me.

Dutch and Benny stop drinking before Revy and I do, so we dump the last of the bottle into our glasses and sit on the dock. The alcohol wears away my reservations, so I voice the question on my mind. "Remember when you and Gina got attacked?"

"Yes."

She obviously doesn't want to talk about it, but I push anyway. "What would you have done in my position? If it was your boyfriend and me?"

She drains her glass and stares out at the water for a while, so long that I'm sure she isn't going to give me an answer. When she speaks, she turns and looks me straight in the eyes. "You. I'll always choose you."

My heart starts pounding instantly and my head gets fuzzy, though I can blame the alcohol for that. "I'll always choose you."

Her eyes meet mine and I can see her guard is still up. So I reach out and touch her cheek gently with my palm, half expecting her to punch me and run away. I honestly wouldn't blame her if she did. Most people wouldn't be coherent after this much liquor, but Revy and I can hold our own. I don't feel drunk, so she can't say I was just drunk when I said this stuff.

She slowly moves her hand, reaching up to lay her palm on top of mine. We stay there, just gazing into each other's eyes, and I want to take her so badly it hurts. But I go slowly, leaning in like the day I let her use my cigarette to light her own, not breaking eye contact. If I do, it's over. After an eternity my lips touch hers, breathing smoke and gunpowder, a scent that I always associate with her. Strange, but familiar and comforting

She doesn't pull away; she actually deepens the kiss, her tongue playing with mine. I nearly lose it right there, but force myself to draw back slightly, our lips barely parted. I look into her eyes, her desire as apparent as I'm sure mine is, but refuse to give in. It'll happen eventually. So I close my eyes and close the distance between us, letting warmth spread throughout my body. If she's feeling anything like I am, we're going to have plenty of time.


End file.
